i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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