Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
