I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
