i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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