dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
