TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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