Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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