pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
