god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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