I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
