I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
its not stalking. its research.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
