OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
