There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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