He had one of those small greek statue penises
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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