I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
