I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
