the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
