Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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