What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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