Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
