I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
