just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
