No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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