Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
