i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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