dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
