Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
