When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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