i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
