You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
