I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
