I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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