i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
