Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
