I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
