My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
