Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
