I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
