plz talk dirty to me
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
