would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
