i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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