At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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