I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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