it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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