"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
