You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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