only if we run a train.
done.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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