i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
