u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
