who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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