Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
