Don't you send me to vm
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
