i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
