everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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